So, as a nurse, we have been known to devour our young.  I have worked in ER's for a long time and I have noticed the exact opposite in this atmosphere.  Other departments have a little different story, but in the Emergency Department, although we may talk junk about each other, we will not allow anyone else to come in and talk about our young ones. 
 After having to deal with the exact opposite b

Bullying.... An ageless problem.

I think that as you are hurting someone's feelings, there should be an instant sense of that persons pain and sadness in your own body and mind.  Maybe then we would think about the things that we say and do to others before we allow it to come out of our mouth.  Bullying is a ageless problem. Kindergarten students can tell you how it should be.  

You should put yourselves in other's shoes before you judge, and if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. 

Million Dollar Dog... Worth every penny!!

I feel like when you find a product that you like you should show loyalty to it and spread the word.  I have noticed that with most products that I fall in love either get discontinued or go out of business which means that I have to fall in love with a whole new product.  Relationships are hard enough as it is and I don't want to have to keep making new ones.  This is why I have decided to start raving about the things that I like so others will try them, learn to love them, and therefore they will never go away.

I would like my first rave to be about a business right her in Gaston County.  Million Dollar Dog (MDD) is a dog grooming business that I have been taking Bella to for over a year now.  I love that when I walk in all the dogs that are there that day are playing together in the different rooms.  They are free to roam wherever and explore.  Bella at first was a little scared but she warms up after a short while and roams with the pack.  They treat Bella like the princess that she is and make her look the part!!
I think that their true love of animals makes the services they provide even more special.  Evey time I bring Bella there I am greeted with smiling faces and Bella is welcomed with open arms.  Bella has been treated to "pawdicures", Blueberry facials, and fabulous milk baths.  Now some may think that it is a little crazy to spend money on such frivolous things for your dog but sometimes pampering the pet that has curled up beside you while you were sick and kept you company after a surgery that put you on house arrest, is a completely warranted expenditure.

http://www.milliondollardoginc.com/home/

https://www.facebook.com/milliondollardoginc?fref=ts

Million Dollar Dog, Inc.
7206 W. Wilkinson Blvd.
Belmont, NC 28012

(1) 704-266-4137

O' Naturale

It was brought to my attention that today's children are developing faster than we did and probably ten times our ancestors.  No, this was not told to me by some hippie organic freak that is trying to prove an agenda and wanting to save the earth.  It was shoved right up my nose when my 15 year old daughter, who was 14 at the time, was asked out by a 25 year old boy at the gym right in front of me!!  I realized that I had a problem.  I was suspicious about the issue the more I looked at her at toyed with the idea of trying to cut out foods with hormones and chemicals.  I had no idea what it all meant but I thought that it was worth some looking into.  

Apparently, as I looked through some of my products in my cabinets and refrigerator, that there are more chemicals and things that I can not pronounce in my food than I am comfortable with.  My friend and coworker Tonya, had brought up the fact that she was looking at the ingredients to jarred peppers and noticed that it had yellow dye #5.  Why?????  What was the point in adding that to jalapeno peppers?  They are fine the color they were made and for what purpose would we need to add a dye? it does not preserve the peppers.  It doesn't enhance their flavor.  It was added for no reason just to add something to the product.  More is not always better.  I want less.  

So.... this blog is probably going to lead to several more blogs.  I am going to start my research on natural foods, hormones, GMO, chemicals, and all those things that I can not pronounce and that I don't want to feed my children or myself.  I want them to grow up big and strong and not with the risks of cancer and other illnesses.  I hope that as I learn I can share that information with all 3 of the people that read my blog :))).   

Role Reversal: Having to be the patient instead of the nurse, Part 2

Everything around me is cloudy..... I look and with a slight turn of my head I feel pain in my neck and realize where I am.  I look at the blurred figures around me a see what looks like a smile.  She asks if I am in pain and I nod, immediately wishing I didn't.  You don't have any idea how much you move your neck until you have a whole in it.  She says that she is going to give me something for pain and then a warmth comes over me.  Everything around me gets even more blurry.  The pain is unchanged.  She asks me moment later if it is better and I say no.  More warmth and confusion but still no pain relief.  I have no idea how to explain to her that whatever she is giving me is not working and more of it  will probably not either.  She wants me to be comfortable so.... more meds... and more warm ickiness.  I finally say I am fine just to make the medicine stop.  I found out later it was Dilaudid.  I have no idea why people come to the ER with the goal of getting Dilaudid.  It did not help with the pain at all!!!

The next hour or so is a little difficulty to remember accurately.  I remember feeling some pain and them giving me Morphine but once again the warm cloudy feeling outweighed the very little pain relief it gave.  I started to get concerned that if the strongest pain meds just make it difficult to remain conscious but don't help with the pain... what will I do?  The nurse asked if I wanted to try some Percocet.  All I could think of is how Dialudid and Morphine didn't help, why would a medicine that is not as strong help?  I agreed to the medicine and tried to focus on waking up all the way.  To my surprise I started feeling better within 30 minutes.  I was able to talk a little and the pain became completely tolerable.  My anxiety began to dwindle when I realize that I was going to be ok.  

I was greeted by several different nurses and ancillary staff that were nothing less then fabulous.  Everyone was so extremely kind and helpful.  They moved me to a larger room where I would have plenty of space for visitors.  Several people stopped in to tell me that they appreciated the care I had given to one of their coworkers during a tragic event that happened.  They made me feel so welcome and special.  I hated the thought of asking for anything while I was a patient.  I did not want to hit the call bell for any reason but it clearly said that I could not get up to go to the bathroom by myself until I was steady on my feet.  I can definitely tell you that steady and what I was were not even on the same planet!!  They made me feel like I was no trouble at all.  I tried to be helpful by writing down my output on the board.  I told them that I didn't want them to have to empty out my "tinkle".  They just laughed at me.  

They kindness did not stop there.  Late that evening I started to get a tickle in my throat.  I started to cough constantly and it cause pressure and pain around my incision.  I began to get anxious and tearful.  I was so scared that I would damage something from the surgery and have to go back to the OR.  It may have been an over-reaction but at the time I was truly terrified.  The nurse and tech came in the room and attempted to comfort me.  I was almost hysterical at this point.  They nurse disappeared for a moment and returned with a cup of hot tea and honey.  It worked like a charm, but until it did she stayed held my hand.  She had a look of true concern on her face and not annoyance like I had feared.  the tech continued to bring me tea through out the rest of the night.  I could not ask for better care while I was in the hospital. 

 I had friends and family by my side and visiting.  David, my boyfriend, stayed with me the whole time.  Part of the time I wanted to kill him because he snored constantly on the chair next to me!  Even though the care was perfect and my friends and family were attentive, I could not sleep.  I did not close my eyes for more than ten minutes at a time for the entire stay in the hospital.  Most people said it was because of the beeps, buzzes and periodic vital sign taking.  That was not the case.  My body just would not shut down for fear that I would awake holding my drain in my hand.  Yes... I was scared of that darn little tube with the bulb on the end.  It was what caused anxiety before the surgery and it was what caused it post op up until the point they pulled that freakishly long tube out of me!  But, once they pulled it out I was in a state of happiness and was ready to go home!!  Luckily it was not long after that that I was able to do just that!!  I said my goodbye's and thank you's and finally headed home.

I can honestly say that although my experience was scary and the surgery was not the most fun way I would have chosen to use my PTO, the care I receive in the hospital on 5 South was excellent and I could never thank them enough for all they did.  I also am appreciative to my friends, family, and David  for visiting and supporting me through it all.  I am currently on house arrest because I am not allowed to drive or exert myself too much.  This is a different challenge all it's own for another post!!  

Role Reversal: Having to be the patient instead of the nurse!! Part I: Pre-Op

We don't hear enough about positive hospital experiences.  This is probably because people do not consider any reason they need to stay in the hospital as a "good thing". I, on the other hand, saw the reason for my medical stay as the beginning to positive things coming my way.

I have had issues with my thyroid for over 15 years.  I have gained weight and lost weight.  I have grown hair and lost hair.  I have been high on life and so down that I didn't think I could reach the bottom even if I stood on my tippy-toes.  My hospital stay was to have my thyroid removed and although the surgery is somewhat risky and I was terrified, it meant that maybe I could get some sort of normalcy in my hormones.  

My morning started with an alarm going off at 0400.  I had barely slept due to my nervousness.  I have not really slept well in weeks due to insomnia and night sweats.  I got ready and headed to the hospital. I started my journey with registration. The lady was very pleasant and was helpful and willing to lead me in the right direction.  Then my long walk to the "Day of Surgery" unit.  I was met by a UCC that showed me to my room and had me change.  Nothing on except a gown that shows your hiney to the world!!  Oh yeah, and the SCD's on my legs with "grippy socks".  We can not forget those.  Then I waited.  The UCC had mentioned that a nurse would be coming right in to start my IV but no one showed.  I thought about asking why someone that had showed up after me had already gotten their IV and was wheeling to the OR, but then I realized that I was one of "THEM".  Yep, I was one of those impatient people that walks up to the desk and asks repeatedly when it was my turn.  I quickly took a deep breath and decided to chill because I could not be one of "THEM"

After several hours, or minutes, I could not tell because time had started to stand still at this point, a smiling face peeked around the curtain.  "Finally", I said in my head in an annoyed silent voice.  I held my arm out for the IV.  She explained her procedure to me which included a bit of subcutaneous lidocaine for comfort.  I quickly said that it was not necessary and she could just stick me because I did not mind needles.  She insisted and I said fine.  I heard a bit of condescension in my voice.  This is when I realized that I was being one of "THOSE" patients.  "THOSE" patients are the ones that know everything because they have a little experience in the medical field and they surely could do your job better than you do..... in their mind.  Yep, that was me this morning, one of "THOSE".  The smiling face stuck this tiny needle in my arm and squirted  little bit of lidocaine in the tissue.  It was barely noticeable.  She followed it with the angiocath which I barely felt.  She also placed it in my forearm which I loved because it does no limit movement.  I guess she just may know what she is doing after all. Maybe I should just tuck my tail between my legs and shut up!!  I ate my pride and commended her on her great job.  Then she did something that I was not ready for.  She asked us if she could say a word of prayer with us before I went to the OR.   REALLY????  You are just gonna throw your personal self out there like that to people that you barely know?   Especially to someone that was acting like she knew everything and probably annoyed you a little?  I looked at her, humbled, and said, "Yes, please."

After her eloquent words of prayer and praise I felt a warm comfort wash over me.  I so appreciated the extra time she spent to say a prayer with me, not only because it was comforting to me but the way it made my mother feel.  My mother is a devout Christian who has had a rough month after being diagnosed with breast cancer and is still healing from a lumpectomy less than two weeks ago.  I was worried about how the stress of her baby girl going to surgery would effect her healing.  Seeing her smile in relief that my nurse was a christian was so nice because her smile (the real one and not the fake one to make other people happy) has been a little hard to conjure up these days.

Ok, now we have finished with the DOS Unit.  Now we wait until someone comes to pick me up to go to go to the OR.  Things started happening fast at this point.  A very pleasant young lady came to transport me to the PACU area to finish up the preparation.  There is where I met several people.  I do not remember the male nurse I met there but he was great and talked to me constantly because he seemed to notice that the silence made me even more nervous.  The CRNA and the Anesthesiologist both came in to ask questions as well.  They made small talk and also kept the conversation casual which calmed me.  I think they all noticed my anxiety after my 25th trip to the bathroom.  I was not sure how I was urinating so much considering I had been NPO since 2100 the night before.  The time had finally come to start wheeling toward the OR.  My eyes must have shown my terror because the ever-so-generous CRNA squeezed a healthy does of Versed into my IV to help me "relax" for the trip to the OR that was only 20 feet away at that point.  The room began to vibrate and I felt sleepy.  The room seemed very bright and I felt the need to squint a bit.  We got in the OR and I started to shimmy myself over to the OR table.  I saw them rushing around to prepare numerous kinds of materials but could not tell you what any of them were.  I was very confused at this point and just new that I wanted to be supine again and close my eyes.  I hear the CRNA tell me that she is going to go ahead and give me the REALLY sleepy medicine which I assumed to be the Propofol.  All I can remember is thinking, "bring it on and let's get this over with!"

Then there was darkness.......  To be continued later in Part II. 

Are you there God, it's me Angela?

So..... I have felt a little abandoned by God lately. The last year and a half of my life has seemed to go to hell in a hand basket. I am definitely one of those people that are constantly trying to better myself, failing, and forgetting the goal all together. 2012 was not kind to me. Actually 2011, started the blows before it left and 2012 ran with them!!! I was able to start my dream job and then it was taken away from me because of petty, little people. I fought to clear my name (and won), but it was one of the hardest hits I have taken in my life. It killed my self esteem and sent me into a world wind of self doubt and loathing. I am not one of those people who gets so down that it effects their lifestyle but I was there. I was to the point that I went to the doctor for medicinal help.
After surviving that funk I was hit yet again. I was determined to join a local fire department that I had loved for quite some time. The chief of this department was someone that I respected and wanted to be part of his team. This fire department did not exactly have a history of successful women in it, but I was confident that I could change that because I have worked with these men for so long and felt like I had a lot to offer the department. This dream was dashed out as well by prejudice and ignorance when, after already being voted onto the department and working my ass off in classes and physical agility tests, a group of single minded men decided that my lack of penis was a problem they could not overlook. They found a way to make my acceptance to the fire department null and caused a surprise recount when the ones that supported me where not there. Once again I found myself at the bottom having a had time holding my head above water because of the sadness.
I found the strength to block my mind of this disappointment a well, but as the year went by it seemed everyday something else would happen. Little hits here and there are annoying but we tend to be able to shake them off. The hits that I was taking were full body blows. Most of my friends and family didn't know half of the things that were going so terribly wrong in my life because I was quickly becoming embarrassed by the constant failures and bad mojo that was beginning to shape my existence.
In August, yet another blow. My father died. Now for most people, this is sad because they would miss spending time with them. I wish that I could say that was the same reason I was sad. My father stopped being a father to me when I was 11. When my parents divorced and my other moved us to NC, my fathers caring for me fell into the category of "out of sight, out of mind". It made it difficult for me to grieve for him in the way that most people do. I was trying to deal with a lot of anger at the same time as dealing with the loss of a father. Now that 2013 seems to be following in the same progression I am wondering where is the LOVE!!!
Recently finding out I require surgery to remove my thyroid, a broken wrist, and the worst, my mother's breast cancer diagnosis, are 2013's gifts to me. I thought that there was a break in the bad when I got a new job opportunity as Assistant Trauma PI Coordinator. It is very exciting and I appreciate the chance... But the news was followed with my mother's diagnosis within days of each other. I know what you want to say, "Do you want some cheese with that wine?" I understand that this seems to be a pity party but I was truly frustrated. Then, like a big smack in the face, my new boss gives me a piece of paper. It read:


Me: God, can I ask You a question?
God: Sure
Me: Promise You won’t get mad
God: I promise
Me: Why did You let so much stuff happen to me today?
God: What do u mean?
Me: Well, I woke up late
God: Yes
Me: My car took forever to start
God: Okay
Me: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait
God: Huummm
Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call
God: All right
Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn’t work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did You do that?
God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one
of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that
Me (humbled): OH
GOD: I didn’t let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.
Me: (ashamed)
God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn’t want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn’t afford to miss work.
Me (embarrassed):Okay
God: Your phone went dead bcuz the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn’t even let you talk to them so you would be covered.
Me (softly): I see God
God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn’t think you wanted to be in the dark.
Me: I’m Sorry God
God: Don’t be sorry, just learn to Trust Me…. in All things , the Good & the bad.
Me: I will trust You.
God: And don’t doubt that My plan for your day is Always Better than your plan.
Me: I won’t God. And let me just tell you God, Thank You for Everything today.
God: You’re welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I Love looking after My Children…


So... Hanging my head down I say I am sorry for doubting....but go ahead and tell you that it won't be the last time. I can't seem to understand that letting go and accepting God's plan is the way to go. I will continue to try.... Reluctantly.