Role Reversal: Having to be the patient instead of the nurse, Part 2

Everything around me is cloudy..... I look and with a slight turn of my head I feel pain in my neck and realize where I am.  I look at the blurred figures around me a see what looks like a smile.  She asks if I am in pain and I nod, immediately wishing I didn't.  You don't have any idea how much you move your neck until you have a whole in it.  She says that she is going to give me something for pain and then a warmth comes over me.  Everything around me gets even more blurry.  The pain is unchanged.  She asks me moment later if it is better and I say no.  More warmth and confusion but still no pain relief.  I have no idea how to explain to her that whatever she is giving me is not working and more of it  will probably not either.  She wants me to be comfortable so.... more meds... and more warm ickiness.  I finally say I am fine just to make the medicine stop.  I found out later it was Dilaudid.  I have no idea why people come to the ER with the goal of getting Dilaudid.  It did not help with the pain at all!!!

The next hour or so is a little difficulty to remember accurately.  I remember feeling some pain and them giving me Morphine but once again the warm cloudy feeling outweighed the very little pain relief it gave.  I started to get concerned that if the strongest pain meds just make it difficult to remain conscious but don't help with the pain... what will I do?  The nurse asked if I wanted to try some Percocet.  All I could think of is how Dialudid and Morphine didn't help, why would a medicine that is not as strong help?  I agreed to the medicine and tried to focus on waking up all the way.  To my surprise I started feeling better within 30 minutes.  I was able to talk a little and the pain became completely tolerable.  My anxiety began to dwindle when I realize that I was going to be ok.  

I was greeted by several different nurses and ancillary staff that were nothing less then fabulous.  Everyone was so extremely kind and helpful.  They moved me to a larger room where I would have plenty of space for visitors.  Several people stopped in to tell me that they appreciated the care I had given to one of their coworkers during a tragic event that happened.  They made me feel so welcome and special.  I hated the thought of asking for anything while I was a patient.  I did not want to hit the call bell for any reason but it clearly said that I could not get up to go to the bathroom by myself until I was steady on my feet.  I can definitely tell you that steady and what I was were not even on the same planet!!  They made me feel like I was no trouble at all.  I tried to be helpful by writing down my output on the board.  I told them that I didn't want them to have to empty out my "tinkle".  They just laughed at me.  

They kindness did not stop there.  Late that evening I started to get a tickle in my throat.  I started to cough constantly and it cause pressure and pain around my incision.  I began to get anxious and tearful.  I was so scared that I would damage something from the surgery and have to go back to the OR.  It may have been an over-reaction but at the time I was truly terrified.  The nurse and tech came in the room and attempted to comfort me.  I was almost hysterical at this point.  They nurse disappeared for a moment and returned with a cup of hot tea and honey.  It worked like a charm, but until it did she stayed held my hand.  She had a look of true concern on her face and not annoyance like I had feared.  the tech continued to bring me tea through out the rest of the night.  I could not ask for better care while I was in the hospital. 

 I had friends and family by my side and visiting.  David, my boyfriend, stayed with me the whole time.  Part of the time I wanted to kill him because he snored constantly on the chair next to me!  Even though the care was perfect and my friends and family were attentive, I could not sleep.  I did not close my eyes for more than ten minutes at a time for the entire stay in the hospital.  Most people said it was because of the beeps, buzzes and periodic vital sign taking.  That was not the case.  My body just would not shut down for fear that I would awake holding my drain in my hand.  Yes... I was scared of that darn little tube with the bulb on the end.  It was what caused anxiety before the surgery and it was what caused it post op up until the point they pulled that freakishly long tube out of me!  But, once they pulled it out I was in a state of happiness and was ready to go home!!  Luckily it was not long after that that I was able to do just that!!  I said my goodbye's and thank you's and finally headed home.

I can honestly say that although my experience was scary and the surgery was not the most fun way I would have chosen to use my PTO, the care I receive in the hospital on 5 South was excellent and I could never thank them enough for all they did.  I also am appreciative to my friends, family, and David  for visiting and supporting me through it all.  I am currently on house arrest because I am not allowed to drive or exert myself too much.  This is a different challenge all it's own for another post!!